tastes: cheese pastizzi
thinks: im fucked for physics
THE BEST OF BENTONG.BLOGSPOT.COM
Hardcore studying til end of HSC so I've picked out my favourite posts to keep those people that love to cruise my archives amused. Enjoy
[01] - love and alcohol, dedicated to the ones that got away
Love Sickness has started to intoxicate me again. The sense of singleviduality and freedom tasted so sweet when my lips first touched the
rim of the glass, but the champagne has been left to age for too long and the drink has lost its bubbles leaving a flat, insipid, unsatisfying refreshment
to be consumed.
The feeling of being loved is now such an old experience that I can hardly remember what it ever tasted like. The mind remembers it of being emotionally
euphoric in flavour and having a secure texture, like a cocktail of elysium on the rocks in a short glass. That is now replaced with schooner of a warm, unappetizing beverage that leaves a bitter after taste on the edge of the tongue and unwanted froth in the back of the throat.
My fresh, chilled, sweet cocktail. When will she arrive at my table?
My pina colada. Fresh, sweet and fruity with the right amount of pineapple juice to give her that ooffftttt and enough barcardi rum to make me overly happy. A splash of coconut cream to add to her texture and maturity. Maybe also a half shot of orange juice to bring out her irresistable flavour. Blended with the right amount of ice and a pineapple wedge plus a red cherry to top her all off. STRAIGHT UP!
Something that I’ll enjoy drinking, renew my senses and tell me how much I missed sipping on it. Satisfy me and let me linger on it for hours ahead and wish that my glass would never run dry, or at least encourage me to buy another round.
[02] - net love or online crush?, dedicated to mia
listen : aphrodite - king of the beats
taste : milk
see : toothbrush
smell : hugo boss baldessarini
feel : cold, pathetic and embarassed about what im about to write
mental : contemplating
My heart thumps everytime I hear that bell that is almost drowned out by the basslines that are accompanied by the synchronized visuals. I check my list to see where you are, double click, insert message then send, hoping that you'll be there. I wait.......I'm not sure if you're there or not but I still wait. I get distracted by other individuals that don't provide half the enjoyment I get from you. You reply and I read, I smile.....but no one can see, not even you.....the person I want to see it the most.
When we converse I feel as if everything else isn't important and you are my top priority. Whatever the topic, I'm satisfied. The red light moves across it's synthetic carpet in an attempt to free up task bar space for you, trying to get rid of the annoying randoms so I can get back to your window. Nothing sent as yet, but I wait......then, it flashes. It feels so good to talk to someone of such maturity and composure. Someone who holds great stature and is free to express themselves. Someone who is nothing like me, but I can relate to so much, even by a keyboard.
We get onto the topic of what we look for in the opposite sex. I name my preferences. Cute, mature, a woman of substance.......You. Then you name yours. Kinda geeky, smart, things I'm not. I only fit into half of your preferences and it kinda disappoints me, but it doesn't affect me dramatically. I still hold onto some sort of hope.
When we talk it seems like forever and I don't want it to end. But all good things must come to an end. You have to leave but I don't want you to. But you must. We say our goodbyes and you leave. You disappear into the red section. The online time seems so boring when you're not on. I try in vain to find someone to replace you but no luck. No one can compare to you.
I tell my lady friends some things that I find significant in order to find out how you think and interpret your signals..... if any. I'm too scared to sms or call you. I don't want the same mistake to happen again, it's embarassing. I'm just a shy boy caught up in things. I want to tell you how I feel but don't know how to tell you, or to even tell you at all. What if you don't see it that way?. It'll ruin everything. I sound pathetic writing this. I want you to read this, but I also hope you dont. But I also have to practice what I preach. Self expression.
>>>DISCONNECT<<<
[03] - i fucked up and im sorry, dedicated to thao and thuy
My life, what it is at this time is all due to what I have made it.
If only I didn't fuck up everything. If only I didn't treat girls like shit. If only I showed some respect.
If I followed my heart instead of my head, I wouldn't of hurt that girl and would still be on good terms with the other girl, maybe even with her.
If I thought with my head instead of my dick, I wouldn't of fucked over this girl and made my name infamous all over Sydney.
I should have shown some respect, some appreciation, some LOVE.
She said she was stupid for going out with me, but I'm even more so for doing the things I done and thinking that I could get away with it.
Consiquences just didn't exist to me when I was creating the reputation that I now have to live with.
I had my fun back then, but it's now time to live with the outcomes of the position I've put myself in.
Maybe if I didn't gain myself such a reputation, I wouldn't have to classify girls as "the one that got away". I fucked up.
A girl that I'm just totally immersed by, totally consumed by would leave me soon after it starts due to my reputation.
A girl that I've only dated a few times, but yet the feelings I felt for her, the care I had for her were just so extraordinary my heart would stop ever time
I see her name flashing on the screen of my phone. The emotions of mine that she could just send crazy. I fucked up.
I regret it all deeply, and my remorse is strong. But it's too late for that now, I have to live with the consiquences and learn from the mistakes I've made.
Learn that love is not a feeling or emotion. It an action, a subconcious attitude and a lifestyle that you create for that person.
[04] - mutual respect
listen: dj gumbee - sharaz - this is how it should be
taste: nothing
destroy: nothing
mental: congested and exhausted
Fuck people that take me for granted. Fuck people that expect the other person to put all the effort into a friendship and they don't give anything in return. You reap what you sew, and if u sew into good relationships with people then that's what you have. Ever wondered why your friends disappear? that's because you're a fucking shit cunt. If you put effort into keeping that friendship then people wouldn't abandon you. Once you build a strong relationship with someone, then you should keep it, not give up. In future you'll have to rebuild that friendship again. You don't miss something til it's gone.
I've learnt that it's better to have a few close friends rather than a lot of distant friends. Close friends are always there for you, distant friends will help if they want to or they feel the need. The key difference between these relationships is loyalty. Loyalty is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as : faithful, true to, devoted and adherent. A loyal friend is someone who's always there for you. ALWAYS. No matter what situation it is and if you're right or wrong, they'll support you and give advice in the topic. Fuck people that only come to you when they want something.
Never complain that someone never tells you anything when U never fucking talk to them. How am I supposed to let you know everything that's happening i my life when u never call or ur always busy with "something else" when I call?. Or where do I get to say anything when U dominate the conversation and are too busy talking about all the insignificant things that are in your life but they are really about as important as the time the postman drops off your letters. If you want to know about someone then give them room to express themselves. Don't back them up into a corner and hide everything when you talk. And don't just talk....c o n v e r s e. Complain about this and complain about that when you don't even make the effort to give a fuck. Like what Ludacris said in 2 fast 2 furious "now this is what you call mutual respect". Respect has to be the same between people in relationships. Respect also goes in 2 ways, up and down. No matter how young or how old, respect each other as if they were a brother or sister. Respect is also earned, not given in my eyes. I don't give a fuck who U are, U earn my respect. U want me to respect you as a friend, then you earn in. For the time being, U stay as just another person on a standard respect level.
Grow Up, Mature, Learn how to live and then you'll be able to lead people. Lead by example and humble yourself. Self Control is one of the most important things that you learn thru self discovery.
[05] - what should i do at uni? or more like who?
listen : U2 - sweetest thing
taste : mouthwash
see : get carter
smell : ralph lauren romance (again)
feel : fresh and clean
mental : blunt and implicative
waking up at 9.30am on a saturday morning, rushing to eat and get dressed and rushing to the train station at 10 in the morning isn't the most pleasant thing to do. And the hang over I had thanks to shots and shots and shots the night before made it even more unpleasant. Once again, I was running late for a meeting I had with friends. A journey to UNSW open day. Wow! So exciting. Not really. Should of just called up and said I couldn't make it and slept in a couple more hours, but they never dog me for other things so i'll return the unintended favour. I arrive at Central station and rendezvous with my friend on platform 19. The sun is coming out from behind the clouds. It was good on Friday but today, please, hide behind the clouds again. The light is burning my eyes reducing my glace to a squint and turning my head into an oven. She arrives, joining our army of 2. It's my friend and his gf and me. I'm used to going out with couples, everyone's a fucken couple. It doesn't make me sick, it just makes me nostalgic. A jam filled donut to satisfy my hunger, a coffee to rev me up and a bottle of water for my dehydration. We venture over to the bus stop. Students everywhere and a group of asian males doing their usual Galaxy World squat position on the wall and acting as hard as possible. I fucken laugh at those kinda people. We're on the bus. I'm sitting next to this bookworm asian girl and she's huddled up into her corner of the seat as if I'm some kind of monster. But she's alright.
We arrive at the venue. We enter the grounds and I get handed a leaflet, the distributor saying "it's exciting" in a tone as if he's been standing there for 6 days. "Fuck man, sounds good. There's so much enthusiasm in your tone mate" I reply to him. Sarcasm vs. sarcasm = enlightment. I look down the long, long, long avenue the is University of New South Wales. There's people everywhere, "Dont they have anything better to do on a Saturday" I think to myself obviously grovelling and negative due to my physical state. We start walking. Free shit, free shit, free shit. Not interested. Nothing at Uni really interests me because I'm not planning on going next year, but all these people are. The only thing that interests me I guess is the girls and the youth allowance. We walk along and get to the main area and I see asians, lots of the bastards. Girls everywhere, now we're talking. There's fat ones, skinny ones, short ones, tall ones, hot ones, cute ones, glamour ones, shy ones, geek ones, slutty ones, teenie ones, but most of all, there we're ugly ones, plenty of ugly for everyone. I spent most of my time bumping into friends, smoking and watching little kids bash each other for a judo demonstration seeing as I spent most of my outside because everyone was looking around and I didn't really have a purpose for being at an open day. Here's where my survey comes in. Bf and Gf went off to look at something and my friend left to get lunch so I sat down on some steps and had a cigarette, watching the people that walk past. I decided to have a little fun for myself. I analyse the reactions of different types of girls when I wink or smile at them. And the results show :
The Geeky Girl : She wears shit mum buys for her. Has no idea about fashion or style or image, apart from what she reads in a book, but that's probably just corsets and strides from what she reads from MacBeth. She wears glasses of course and has had the same haircut since, she ever started getting hair cuts 18 years ago. She reacts to a wink as if she's seen a dead possum in her cats mouth. Not shocking enough to scream about, and not subtle enough to approach and say hi. She's mildy shock, she's never had someone do this to her before. She has a short muscle spasm, scrunches up her nose and gives a look as if she's a judge analysing the defendant in a murder case. Definately not a competitor
The Teenie Girl : She wears flared jeans with sport/running shoes, a colourful jumped and those over the shoulder purse/bags, like hippies. She's probably had a bf before, but that was over the net and they broke up because he was cyber cheating on her. She wears a G-Shock watch and lots of bracelets. The approach is a smile. She reacts kindly to the smile and smiles back, exposing her braces and the lollipop that lies between her top and bottom set of whites. Surprisingly enough she approaches me and asks "do I know you?". I reply to her "Ummm, we used to goto school together? Canley High?", She says "Ummm, no, I goto Hornsby Girls", "U sure", She says "Yeah". So after spinning shit and confusing her for about 5 minutes I say "Yeah I know, Im just bullshitting you. Have a nice day". I give her points for her audacity to approach me and extra for actually putting up with my shit talk for 5 minutes.
The Geeky Girl #2 : She is basically dressed in the same attire as the previous except she doesn't wear glasses. But she does have a handful of books to make up for it. She reacts to the wink with an unimpressed glare and continues on with her mission of intelligence.
Time to relocate to the lawn and away from this ridiculous ice cream liquid nitrogen frozen bullshit
The Fat Girl : A hideous beast. From the depths of the caves where mankind makes it's mistakes. Sorry, I've taken it too far. The large woman. For someone who eats a lot of junk food, she does have some clean teeth. She takes the wink the right way and smiles with her hand on her neck. She thinks I'm attracted to her. I shake my head and she shows no surprise. She catches up with her friends and they all turn around after she's boasted about her little experience.
The hot girl : I sit there and step on my cigarette, lifting my head upexhaling the smoke I notice one. Walking in my direction only a few metres away. I quickly gain composure and give out a soft whistle. She looks, I smile. She gives one of those head down, hair covering part of her face, looking out the corner of her eye smiles. She's beatufitul....ish. She's one of those girls that directs the attention away from her face and to her clothes that complement her figure. Tight black top and hipster jeans. And from behind, an ass that'll hypnotize you. I dont know her facial expression but mine was one you'd see when I discover 6 digit amounts of cold cash.
The Cute Girl : Oh how much I love cute girls. This one was adorable. She deserved a wink. I waited until she looked over and made eye contact. I winked. Her eyebrowns sloped inwards and her cheeks kind of bloated, the typical cute girl trade mark. I smiled at her to reassure her that it was her I was looking at. She smiled and waved me over. I shook my head and waved her over. She put her head down, looking up and smiled, shaking her head. We both shrugged our shoulders and then waved each other goodbye. I didn't have the composure to talk to people that day.
The Cute Girl #2 : She was dressed in tight jeans and was wearing thongs. A Chocolate Tiger tee shirt and a small Puma bag. Shoulder length hair and a killer smile. I winked at her when she was glancing this way and she tilted her head sideways and looked at me with her round eyes. I wave her over just like the previous one and she comes over. "Hi" in a high pitched voice. What's your name? I ask. "Not telling, hehe" she giggles. "And why not?" I reply. "hehe, cuz I doh noh yoo" she says, swinging side to side and playing with her fingers. "I guess I'll see ya round then"..."hehe. ok..bye bye".
The Short Average Girl : She's decked out in everything from General Pants. Lee Denim 3/4 roll-up jeans, low profile pumas, paul frank tee shirt and lonsdale bag. She notices me first. I notice her when I turn around and notice her noticing me. Get it? I smile. She smiles. I'm smoking. She smokes. "Hey can I grab a cigarette off you?", "ummm, can I grab a number off you?"..."ermmm, boyfriend boyfriend" her friend says, standing behind her.
The Taken Girl : She can't stop looking. She keeps looking over her shoulder at me. I give her short glances, then looking somewhere else. I look at her one last time, giving her a sleazy wink. She winks back, I blow her a kiss, she licks her top lip then turns around, making sure her bf didn't see.
The Hot Girls : A whole fucken bunch of glamours is walking up. "ooooffftttt" I say under my voice. They walk past. Fuck it. I dont have the balls to do anything. I dont want to look like a chauvanist pig. The smell of perfume drifts along in their vapour trail.
There aren't many results. I was only bumming for 10 mins. There's not really a conclusion either. It's just an insight on what clothes girls wear and what reacts they get...
[06] - u know what's really fucked?
earfood: cypress hill - lowrider
drinking: lemonade
smoking: davidoff no.3 anniversary edition
feeling : tired and confused
i live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here.
I do live in my own little world and I am crazy. But I seem to notice aspects of the world from all different angles. Then there's those who only choose to see what they want to see and are oblivious to other things that happen around them. Their little world is perfect, but the "reality" part is crumbling down around them, and they're about to get effected in a rather dramatic way. These people have the emotional depth of a small puddle and fail to see shades of grey. Their actions and emotions seem to be completely unfeasable and whatever goes...goes, as long as the people that they're sucking the cocks of are happy and there's a minute show of respect, even though they try so hard in vain to get rid of the tail and despise the fact that they suck up so much they have love bites. These are the people that try to gain favour by pleasing the person they percieve as "superior" to them and it's an interesting power struggle.
The misled young teenage girl has trouble conforming to society and what it expects of her. Should she do this? Should she do that? What should she wear? . The poor little brain of the typical teenage girl is constantly bombarded with slogans, labels and advice from all kinds of media and social influence, but her dilemma is which to listen to?. Maybe Girlfriend or Dolly maybe have some answers. Nope, just bullshit surveys and ridiculous horoscope. The question is "Should I sleep with my boyfriend?" and the reply you can expect to have is "when you feel you are ready" or "as long as you use protection". Is there any room for a lesson on sexual immorality? Does anybody give advice for girls to abstain from sex until marriage? Is there anything that can be said to stop a girl from becoming a slut or pregnant instead of a pathetic one liner implying "yeah, fuck his brains out and his friends after"? Must sex be such an important topic in a day in the life of a misled teenage girl? Must sex be used so blatantly and used so frequent with no shame? Clothing companies design clothes, not skin, so maybe we could actually see the clothes in advertisements, instead of a girl's chest and a little bit of her underwear showing at the bottom of the picture?
I'm scared that my children will have to grow up in a society where they are so vulnerable to this kind of exposure. I don't want them to grow up in a society where sexual immorality is so common, that it's a fashion. In a society where losing your virginity at 13 isn't too young, where love is getting pregrant at 15 and having to drop out of school to look after the child, where a conveniece store is further away from a kid selling drugs to his mates. Where will society goto in the next 10 years? Will things get better or worse? Will the word "morals" be a mentality rather than a cliche? Only time will tell.
[07] - lights
earfood: planet asia - cali breeze
eating: nothing
drinking: nothing
Smoking: B&H special filters *pokes tongue @ thao*
I was talking to a friend the other night and somehow she brought up that you're availability is like lights. She was watching an episode of the ever so despised Oprah Winfrey Show thing and one of the guests used the analogy that a person's availability is like lights. The reason people don't have someone is that because they don't turn their lights on. In normal people terms, the guest explained that lights show your availability. If your lights are off, no one will notice that you are available. But if your turn them on, people around you will realize/notice that you are single. "So if that's how it works, maybe I should turn my lights on" I said to my friend. Her reply was rather, funny haha but true. "Maybe your lights have been on too long and you have to turn them off to recharge them and give them a rest for a bit" she replied. Hahaha. I didn't know it was that bad. But then I told that to Thao last night, and she said that I should turn them on. For some reason she thinks they're off. So I don't have a fucking clue if my lights are on or off, so I just decided to put on my hazard lights, haha. Now people will see me as single for one second, and unavailable the next, and confuse the shit out of people. Hahaha, but I don't think that's a good idea so I'll just put them on low beam for the time being until I find an absolute goddess and but my high beams on and indicators and all those neon lights that get defected and everything to attract her attention. But who could that girl be??????????
[8] - the boys and the future
listen: daz dillinger - everyday
taste: benson & hedges ultra milds
see: people on N/A cuz they're at school
smell: bvlgari blv
feel: slight cold
mental: what am I going to do to kill time before I go out?
Isn't it quite funny, and at the same time sad to hear people not give a shit about their future?
Today at school I was having a semi deep and meaningful with my group. There's only 4 of us that remain because we're the only ones that smoke in our year and the others have turned good and spend their time studying or playing hackey sack. Sure we're friends with everyone else but we are the ones that are still someone "rebellious". There's Wayne, who's a short bloke and a major alcoholic. He's immature and doesn't give a fuck about anything and is always true to his personality and has a reputation for fucking the ugliest girls you could ever think of at parties. Then there's Tyrone who's a football player and is a head higher than me and has shoulders that just fit through the doorway. He's also an alcoholic but isn't true to his personality. He blowasses a lot but noone cares cuz noone listens. He's also know as a gentle giant to girls. In other words he gets pussy whipped often. 2 times this year and spent all of last year trying to hook into one girl, but no success. Stephan makes the group to three. He lives in the same area as me and was born 364 days before me. Used to be a theif/drug dealer and has some connection to all the stolen phones in my room but neither of us got charged because of technicalities (the cops searched my house without a warrant the fucken idiots). Stephans also an alcoholic but not as much as the rest and has turned good since he turned 18 (refer to my birthday post). And then there's Me, the only asian in my year. I guess common interests are what holds our group together, such as smoking, drinking, crime, bitches and cars (V8s and rotors). None of us go out together on the weekends, but at school we form a group. Anyway, I was having a deep and meaningful with Tyrone and Wayne (Stef wasn't at school cuz he's hungover and we have assessments due today) and we were just dicussing how none of us give a fuck about study etc. It started after sparking up a cigarette on the sport field (the stupidest place to smoke, in full view from the street, library, cooking room, main quadrangle and office but last place anyone would smoke) and we spotted a teacher, Mrs. Lundberg who doesn't give a fuck if we smoke or not because on our careers excursion she said she didn't mind when we were smoking outside. And then from there it came onto the topic of Uni and school excursions where we get to check out girls and then it turned into the uni/study topic. Tyrone said that People are taking the HSC so seriously when it's something that isn't really worth shit. I can agree and disagree on that. But we analysed our group. Probably the only group in our year that doesn't give a fuck about the HSC, none of us. We all just want to get it and then go out into the big wide world and do whatever. None of us give a fuck where the HSC takes us. Tyrone is probably the only person that is concerned. He wants to be a marine biologist (good luck to him, stick to fucken football and become a labourer) and I'm only going to uni if I get the marks to do fashion. Stephan is going to work and Wayne, well, no one knows what he wants to do. He has potential though. He scores higher than all of us in exams and the only one of us that does a 3 unit subject. We're a bunch of fucken bludgers!
Also out of school, my friends don't give a shit about things. Logan, Neil and Simon are all probably going to jail/gaol. Logan's going in for assault with malicious weapon. Neil's up for grevious bodily harm and assaulting a police officer and Simon's got Conspiracy of Armed Robbery under his name. Logan is the only one who shows some concern over it. He's kinda hoping for a good verdict and stay outside. Neil basically doesn't really give a fuck because he's bashed so many cunts before it's about time he went to jail and Simon's been cracking jokes about how the wash his feet and pick up soap without tempting other inmates. Sure it's funny at the time, but as a friend you have to worry about how things go at court and whether they're going lock up or not. I mean, they're not going to kiddy jail, they're all over 18 and they're going to big boys. Sure they can bash cunts on the outside, but inside there's bigger fish that'll fuck them up ya know. Arrrggggg.. I fucken worry about them boys ya know. But fuck, they won't be in for long. Less than a year.
Comparing my school friends to my out of school friends, they're really opposite. My school friends goto bars and clubs n shit and stay desireably sober. My out of school friends go anywhere and get absolutely trashed. My school friends say that get trashed but dont and my out of school friends say they're fine when they were fucken plastered. My school friends are yuppies, even though we goto a shit school and my out of school friends aren't yuppies, but their balances are huge, mainly illegal money. But either group I go out with, I get fucken trashed. It's just standard....
Back to the HSC previously mentioned. What the fuck am I gonna do after HSC? I have direction, I'm not saying I don't. It's just I have too much of it. If I get the UAI, I'll do fashion at uni but I'll doubt i'll get 87+ so I might have to take an alternative route. I could do a course at TAFE and transfer in after a year. But fuck, I dont wanna study for another 4 years. Only good thing about Uni is you meet more people. If I want to follow my path into fashion, I could enrol in the Whitehouse Institute, but I heard that's fucken shit and $10,000/yr compared to $800/yr at East Sydney Fashion Institute, I'll probably pick Est. Syd. Pros : I've heard there's all girls there =) and I'll be favoured by the teachers =) (as told by someone who's been to both institutes). Cons : it's based a lot around sewing, textiles and life drawing. I can draw yes, but I'm fucken pathetic at sewing. My friend told me it's mainly on machines though. That's even worse, instead of hand sewing and stabbing myself once before realizing, I'll stab myself 10 times before realizing. Fuck that Shit. But that won't stop me from following my passion. Or I could fuck all that and do a course at National Investment Institute and just invest in properties. I don't mind investing in properties as I've learnt quite a lot about different ways of buying property. But their methods are by using banks and financial institutions to borrow money, equity transfer, deposit bonds, bank guarantees and collateral. There was an article in the FIN about some shit about banks and borrowing money for investments etc. so that raises some concern. Or I could work full-time and do a night course at time on business management or fashion or something along the lines of that. If I work at a fashion retail outlet then that maybe a good passage for me to start my career in fashion. The options I have to do after HSC are just so vast and all require a lot of thought. I've lived most of my life along the phrase "take it as it comes" and I guess that's what I'll do. Wish me luck : )
[09] - consumerism
earfood: DPG - your girlfriend is a hoe part. 2
drinking: chilled water
smoking: winfield super milds (NEW, the pack is light blue)
feeling: defensive
This is basically a freestyle post I've done out of boredom. I got nothing to write on. But I was inspired by a lecture I went to today for english. It was about consumerism. They then started talking all this poetry bullshit so I found something interesting to entertain myself for an hour and 15. But reflecting back on the topic consumerism, I soon came to realize that we get fucked up the ass by multi national corporations and spit all these advertisements in our face, ram propoganda into outr throats and we then choke on the concept of what is, "self image". The companies are the parents and consumer society is us, the babies. We're taught to eat this and not eat that, drink this and not that, wear this and not wear that. We're moulded into the shape the companies want us to be. Why? To ask why, you must be a fucking idiot and not have a clue about profit and market share. If we're immersed in a particular culture that has moulded us, we therefore buy products that are part of that culture, we therefore feed our money into the industry. $300 for a pair of jeans with a bit of paint on it is ridiculous. I'll just get my retarded friend to wear them whilst doing work experience at a painting firm. Everyday we're forced to consume and buy and spend money on building our image and emulating the people on the big posters. Fuck that shit. Do your own thing, be what the fuck you wanna be, wear what the fuck you want. Cuz if you dress the way everyone else does, who's going to notice you? Who can really give a fuck and turn their head twice to notice someone who looks like someone they see in a magazine? Not me, you're just another fucking random.
In our society, we are influenced to keep buying and never be satisfied. NEVER BE SATISFIED!. No matter how much money you spend, you still want more. That's why they have credit cards. You get a pair of jeans, you need a pair of shoes to match, top and hat as preference, but might as well buy it. With products, there are always complementary products, to make that product better or look different (nokia phones for example).
After going to a few 3rd World countries, you come to appreciate the things that you HAVE in life. Your clothes, computer, phone etc are material things and are actually luxuries. Even though you have those already, you want more or better ones and will never be satisfied. I've seen people live in the back of a shop and sleep on tiled floors. They work from early morning to late night just to support the family. They do anything for a dollar. This is what you call poverty. But yet, they are so happy with what they have. I tipped a woman selling coconuts 500 riel (about US 0.20c) and she was fucken stoked. People in Cambodia are fucking tightass and tipping is rare I reckon. It brings a tear to your eye that people have to live in conditions like these yet in Australia, we're spoilt fucking brats. The people are fucking cool too. They'll let you have a leak in their front lawn, they'll take U for a ride on their bike cuz they have nothing better to do, they'll play cards with you in the street cuz that's their form of fun. It's so cool cuz they don't give a fuck. We percieve "having a good time" as going out and spending money, but with these bastards, drinking a shitload of Tiger beer, playing a lot of poker and smoking a few packs of Ara cigarettes is their form of showing a foreigner cunt how to have fun, and it's the fucking best cuz neither of you understand each other...hahahaha..you just laugh, it's really good bonding and a mad way of communicating, by a show of cards and a smile..That's un-monetary satisfaction, and it's better than anything money could ever buy me. It's hard to get people to come to realize how fortunate they are in Australia, but I hope this will at least change your perspective of things in some way.
And did U know that shop windows are meant to be shiny n shit? Reason being is that U can see the product and ur own self in the same picture. Fuck call that consumerism./
Talking of consuming shit, Go pick up a copy of Vice from Urban, General or some shit. It's free media and it's the best. It's just absolute bullshit about street culture with ridiculous articles on KKK and Public Execution. Free media is always the best for a shit read and a good laugh. There's also a section on how to eat pussy, so get ur bf to pick it up.
That should keep u busy.
posted by Ben @ 11:13 PM
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